I chanced upon this blog about 3 years ago, a diary of a Singaporean mother, whom child was diagnosed with neuroblastoma.
I’ve been following since, from diagnosis, to their fund raising effort, living with cancer, treatments seeking in New York and Singapore. I remembered the last I read, the kid was making good progresses.
After a long hiatus, I revisited the blog site again tonight.
The kid lost her 3 years battle in October 2011.
And I skimmed through the post chronologically, from days of worsening prognosis, to saying good bye and the struggle of a mother dealing with sickness and death.
This little feisty princess certainly taught the world, to be feisty, tough and grateful.
And to Char, the feisty princess, thank you for the lesson and may you find peace.
where life’s accustomed to work.
where I start to dive again. Back from hiatus, breathing 18 meters under South China Sea is therapeutic. Quick holiday fix with books, coffee, beach and dives made this a quintessential pit stop to a mundane routine.
where dream almost came true. Medicine was a childhood dream and I was a step away from realizing it. Scholarship withdrawn 2 days before orientation, there and then made me realized achievement takes more than just hardship. Despite having the admission letter at my door step, I had to humbly decline because it was financially impossible to pursue a career in medicine without monetary aids. However, it was a memorable experience going through essays writing, interviews, MCAT, and meeting up faculties from Johns Hopkins and Perdana University. That fateful phone call, an abrupt dash to the days full of hopes and dreams.
2011, the year that was.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, long I stood, I do not know which to trod. The rest are in future tense.
I had big dreams, and I am achieving none. That hurts, and I hate having such humongous aspiration. And I am certainly envy at the easily-satisfied. Satisfaction generates happiness, and they are directly proportional.
McDreamy dreams, I shall try and live. Realization or not, let it be the future tense. One day when I rock the rattan chair, I’ll be happy just because I’ve tried.
I loathed March, April was ironic, May was/is mundane.
and I say, I need doses of enthusiasm and insanity.
I had a good ole’ treat last month. Packed a sack of book, sleeping bag, camera, a few T’s and shorts an hour before departure, I hopped on a night bus, up North and heck, best weekend spent! Logged 5 awesome dives, ample of sleep, ate a lot and chilled to the max.
Nothing beats the tranquility, 18 meters under the South China Sea.
I can’t wait for more, no plans because spontaneity rules.
Almost a year ago since I last backpacked and am still amazed by the experience, perspective and fun I’ve had. Time and opportunity are luxuries I cannot afford. Hence, making these acquaintances illustrious and memorable.
Time marches like a laser beam trajectory and all I could do is a retrospective entry.
I posted a hopeful note for 2010 as 2009 drew to an end. Twenty ten, a year which wheezes by, with changes in pace, life settings, environment and perspective. The first half of the year was practically a routine, the last leg of varsity and momentum switches as I handed up the very last paper of my undergrad study.
I squandered a few weeks being a couch potato, and the rest of it with intense traveling. The later was one of the highlight of the year, traversing 4 countries with a backpack and myself, minimum budget, maximum goodness.
Convocation, I almost skipped because parents and I weren’t enthusiastic about it. I did attend eventually and it was all good. Best of it, classmates meet-up, kodak moments and seeing everyone got through in mortar board and huge fluffy gown.
Then it was time to don in ties, slacks and white coat. 4 months in the workforce cooks everyone up with expectations, requirements and a paradigm shift from students life. But a good set of working colleagues and batch mates somehow deviate the heat to sauna-like comfort.
2010, in 4 short paragraphs. Literally simple, but overwhelmed by their significance and impacts.
2011, a hopeful year ahead. 🙂
That stroll along the old street as it slowly comes alive, carrot cake, Chinese tea, conversation and great company, it has been a while since I last enjoy early breakfast. A relaxing respite.
Post-call, getting my caffeine kick and luxury of unlimited broadband. 🙂
Sometimes, in the midst of din and hullabaloo, all it takes is a shift in pace to put things into perspective.
Mum called the other day citing an article from the papers, reporting the number of undergraduates whom were awarded the loan-turned-scholarship scheme under PTPTN. And the question of why didn’t I apply for that follows.
I felt rather guilty after that phone call.
Then there is this surge of thoughts and realization that, once not good, twice not good, then I was, am and not going to be good.
I wasn’t positive, at least for that night. In fact, a hodgepodge of guilt and disappointment lingers and it shall stay.
Rattan arm chair, wooden tables, nostalgic photographs, guitar and the voice, next to the luster of a stand lamp. Found this cozy lounge, in a snug traveler’s guesthouse, off Jonker’s main street, where the indie singer-songwriter strummed a few mandarin 90’s ballad, Damien Rice, Katie Melua and Priscilla Ahn, just to name a few.
Best treat, post-call.